Maybe I'm going through a mid-life crisis. Maybe the stresses of a (mildly) sick husband, a toddler who has suddenly become VERY independent and assertive, and an extremely demanding job have just worn me down. Whatever the case, today was a doozy.
Today, I have felt like there is literally no hope in the world. At all. Now, the calm and rational side of me (and that side of me is very small on the best of days, mind you) knows that there is always hope to be found. But my irrational, stressed out to the max self was more than happy to ignore that logic. I am stressed to the point that my hair is falling out. No lie. Falling out by the handfuls, it is. It clogs up the drains, hangs on everything I get near, and is taking over my car. I am afraid to cook anything that someone else might eat for fear of them finding a hair in their food and thinking I am gross, which I'm not, by the way.
It just occurred to me today, if I were to stroke out whilst sitting at my desk and leave this old world behind, would anything I have done career-wise have been worth the sacrifices I have made personally? Answer - ABSOLUTELY NOT! Now, I'm not trying to kid myself into thinking that I can or ever will change the world or cure horrible diseases, but I would like to think that I could somehow contribute to making the world a little better. The problem is, with what I do for a living, there isn't even the remotest possibility of that happening. Ever.
So maybe that's why I started this blog. Maybe I will make someone laugh. Or share a great idea with them for how to make their home a little more beautiful. Or save some money. Mainly, I think it will be cathartic (and a lot cheaper than therapy) for me to write about my life and share that with others. And maybe, just maybe my next post will be about a sweet craft instead of me moaning about my problems. Stay tuned!
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