I admit: I think the idea of reducing a life full of education and experience and personality to one itty bitty sheet of paper is insane. But, apparently a resume is just one of those things that people can't survive without. So, instead of the standard canned personal history lesson, I've decided my next official resume will actually be a list of things I like and things I don't like. Here's what I have so far:
Things I like:
-My family
-Reading
-Writing
-Making people laugh
-Watching TV
-Making shit (not actually breaking food down and making waste in the potty, but creating stuff, like wreaths)
-Flexibility
-Equality
-Jokes, both corny and dirty
-Music
-Movies
Things I don't like and/or am incapable of doing:
-Schmoozing - That's a biggie. I am a HORRIBLE schmoozer. I just don't have it in me to be nice to others only to help me out in some way. I would rather do without than to have to schmooze. Because of this, anything sales-related is not feasible.
-Being told what to do (this is different than advice - I LOVE good advice. It's also different than guidance offered by those who are more intelligent and more experienced than I am. I always appreciate heartfelt guidance. I cannot stand being told to be here and do this at this particular time for this long).
-Dishonesty
-Bad grammar
-Rudeness
-Ignorance
-Mornings
-Monotony
-Ambiguity
So, here's my idea of the perfect job - First and foremost, one that doesn't require or expect me to be an absentee parent to my small child. In other words, flexibility is a MUST. Must offer decent pay (and if it doesn't offer health insurance, it has to pay even more) and allow me to utilize my talents/abilities to the fullest. Preference will be given to companies that enforce a strict No Asshole Rule (seriously, read the book and thank me later).
I'm thinking about posting this to monster.com just to see what happens.
No comments:
Post a Comment