Distance yourself.
You heard me. If you are to become a successful ladder-climber, distancing yourself is a MUST. You should pull a Melanie Smooter from Sweet Home Alabama, change your last name, and relocate to a completely different area of the country. Better yet, you should live like you were the one who tipped the feds off about Whitey Bulger's location and are now living out your years in the witness protection program. The day of your college graduation, you should thank your parents and friends for all they've done for you, kiss them all goodbye, and hit the trail.
Why is distancing yourself such an essential element to corporate success, you may ask? Here's why. People are NEEDY. The fewer people who really know you and think they can depend on you for anything, the better. This is especially true for parents. As they age, parents get sick and end up in hospitals. They become unable to mow their own yards. They try to shovel their own driveways and break a hip. If they know how to get in touch with you and you are made aware of these unfortunate events, you will feel the need to go be with them in their times of need. This is not acceptable behavior for a corporate puppet. Your parents may have changed your diapers, mopped up your vomit, dried your tears, and paid your college tuition, but you are married to your job.
The same is true for friends, which is why you should never plan on having any. Friends will reach out to you during a crisis and expect you to be a shoulder for them to cry on. They might want to come visit and crash at your house. Now, how in the world do you expect to entertain company when you spend 14 hours a day chained to your desk? Of course, you should always look for an opportunity to rub elbows at the office, but only rub the elbows of those who are higher up the ladder (and salary scale) than you. Not with those on the same level with you, and NEVER with your subordinates.
Be an island. Buy stock in your favorite frozen dinner company and your favorite fast food joint. In short, make like a Coyote Ugly bartender and always appear available, but never be available.
Next lesson - On Marriage.
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